suatu hari, Melati sedang libur dan menjadi passenger, catch flight ke Jakarta.. kebetulan duduk di bulk head (bagian paling depan Economy Class) di samping ibu2 (sok) kaya yang diduga travelling bersama anaknya...
Ibu2 : *dengan suara normal tp agak kenceng* Eh, itu limit kartu kredit kita masih 125 juta lagi lho ya...
Anak : Ohh.. iya iya..
Ibu2 : *ngoceh* eh kemaren aku tuh beli Hermes yg model gembok.. Mahal juga yah ternyata
Anak : *manggut2..
Melati : *dalem hati* ya elahh buuuu.. limit kartu kredit 125 juta kok beli Hermes aja dibilang mahal...
Ibu2 : *ngebolak-balik majalah inflight shopping sambil terus nyerocoss ttg barang2 bermerk..* Eh ntar di rumah mau aku tambahin patung singa deh dua.. biar kayak rumah orang2 bule gitu.. kan bagus tuh mobil kita dua2nya bisa di taro di sana...
Anak : Ohh.. iya ya.. bagus juga kayaknya..
Melati : *dalem hati* ya elah buu, orang bule kagak suka naro patung singa kaliii di rumahnya.. *geleng2 kepala sendiri*
Anak : *tiba2 keliatan bingung* Hmm.. ini TV nya dimana yah..
Ibu2 : *tiba2 bangun dari kursinya dan ngomong kenceng* Oohh, ini TV nya muncul dari sini nanti (sambil nunjuk tempat baby bassinet didepannya dia).. ada layar putih gede gitu turun.. tenang aja..
Melati : *sungguh mati ingin ketawa ngakak, tp cuma bisa tersenyum simpul sambil menarik PTV (Personal Television)-nya di depan si Ibu2 itu*
Ibu2 : *menggumam sambil tertegun* Ohh..
Melati : *pura2 sibuk liatin PTV nya sambil nahan ketawa dan ngomong dalem hati* Aduuuh si Ibuuu.. ketauan dehh noraknyaa... :P
Monday, May 31, 2010
BBQ on Beach
suatu hari, Mawar dan Lebah baru pulang dari jalan2.. di perjalanan pulang, mereka melihat papan bertuliskan "BBQ on Beach"
Mawar : *excited* ehh kita kapan2 makan di situ yuuk.. kayaknya bagus deh
Lebah : Oh iyaa.. itu namanya Barbeque on the Beach
Mawar : iyaaaa.. kayaknya deket pantai deh..
Lebah : *terdiam sambil menarik nafas...*
Mawar : heiii kamu kenapa??? *ekspresi muka tak berdosa..
kwakwaaaawwwwwwww...
Mawar : *excited* ehh kita kapan2 makan di situ yuuk.. kayaknya bagus deh
Lebah : Oh iyaa.. itu namanya Barbeque on the Beach
Mawar : iyaaaa.. kayaknya deket pantai deh..
Lebah : *terdiam sambil menarik nafas...*
Mawar : heiii kamu kenapa??? *ekspresi muka tak berdosa..
kwakwaaaawwwwwwww...
CR and OT
Passenger : Excuse me, where is CR?
Cabin Crew : *pura2 nggak tau* what is CR?
Passenger : Comfort Room
Cabin Crew : *masih pura2 gak tau* Comfort Room? You mean toilet?
Passenger : Yes
Cabin Crew : Ohh.. its OT..
Passenger : What is OT?
Cabin Crew : *menjawab dan menunjuk dengan santai* Over There...
Cabin Crew : *pura2 nggak tau* what is CR?
Passenger : Comfort Room
Cabin Crew : *masih pura2 gak tau* Comfort Room? You mean toilet?
Passenger : Yes
Cabin Crew : Ohh.. its OT..
Passenger : What is OT?
Cabin Crew : *menjawab dan menunjuk dengan santai* Over There...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT’S BOYFRIEND? by Tareq Junior
You think you have what it takes to be a flight attendant’s boyfriend? Here are FEW things you have to put through. And that’s why they say these jet setters are the Top 3 Most Spoiled Girlfriends in the World. If you’re in a relationship with one: man, we give it up to you…. And If you’re planning to have one:
Be prepared, Be very very… prepared.
1. Do Not expect her to drive the car. She’s most not likely to have a driving license, she’d say “Babe, I only have a passport.”
2. Familiarize yourself with SKYPE, YM’s. VoIPs. She worships those amazing discoveries.
3. DO treat her like a princess before she can treat you like her king. Get ready for statements like “Buy me food, or else Ill break up with you!”
4. DO NOT be surprised if she wants you to take several shots of vaccines: Hepa B, Hepa A, Meningitis, Yellow Fever etc. etc.
5. Stay away when her roster comes out. That’s the next worse time to PMS.
6. BE grateful of her smile. You get it for free. IN the skies, it’s worth 6 digits.
7. BE READY to see yourself 5 to 10 years from now. She wants a man who knows his direction.
8. DO give importance to time, preferably Military time. 21:16 is NEVER the same as 21:17
9. DO NOT wake her up when she’s sleeping, even if you wonder “ she must be hungry after sleeping 18 hours already!” Again, LET her wake up by herself.
10. DO NOT mess with how she arranges her suitcase. Boots are for Boots sack, shampoos are for toilettries, undies are for undies bag and so on.
11. DO NOT expect her to remember names of your friends in one sitting.
12. DO NOT accuse her of bragging when she says she went to Paris for Coffee or just hit the gym in Berlin. She’s just plainly, innocently telling you a story.
13. Do not get intimidated by the beautiful men around him, chances are she’s already used to/sick of seeing hotness in form. Those men have lost their beauty.
14. DO NOT call her on the phone when she’s on Standby. DO NOT… ever.
15. Do NOT question why Half of the dresses in her closet has never been worn, and she still complains, she doesn’t have anymore.
16. Do Not remove any clothes you think is too much in his suitcase, remember: she has four sets of outfit in her suitcase: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Fall.
17. She expects you to learn how to read an Aviator watch.
18. And when she gives you that expensive Aviator watch, Do not Ask her: “ what time is it there in Khartoum?”
19. The next best gift to a Limited Louis Vuitton bag is a fancy Dual Time Watch.
20. She carries a First Aid Kit with her and 26 kinds of Supplements: Vit C,E,A,B, anti-Oxidants, Gingko Biloba, Evening Primrose Oil, Horseradish Capsules, etc. etc. even those Pills (damn-those!) you request her to take everyday!
21. At least buy McDonald's before your holiday flight, she prefers it over aircraft food, and yes even over the caviar in first class cabin.
22. Understand that discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
23. Make sure of the inaccuracy of your bathroom scale.
24. Remind her which country she is in first thing when she wakes up in the morning
25. During dinner, when she asks you whether you like chicken or beef… Oboohooy! you better think fast!
26. Begin to be scared when you oversee a long line in Immigration, she has zero tolerance on airport queues.
27. Work your muscle for a trip together, you’ll be carrying at least four baggage's for her. A Gucci make-up bag, a Paul Smith, a World Traveler Trolley, and a Barberry Laptop bag at least for a Domestic Flight.
28. A bouquet of flowers is THE if not, THE ONLY way to say “I missed you” when you pick her up at the airport.
29. Prepare yourself for her jetlag, otherwise known as the PFS or the POST Flight Syndrome. You should be awake when she is and asleep when she is . You don’t want to see a whole 72 hours of tantrums.
30. And lastly, it might seem like she thinks she is overqualified for love. But DO remember that in reality, she feels like she is just an ordinary girl standing in front of a boy, asking him…
For a foot rub… after a damn…long flight. ☺
Be prepared, Be very very… prepared.
1. Do Not expect her to drive the car. She’s most not likely to have a driving license, she’d say “Babe, I only have a passport.”
2. Familiarize yourself with SKYPE, YM’s. VoIPs. She worships those amazing discoveries.
3. DO treat her like a princess before she can treat you like her king. Get ready for statements like “Buy me food, or else Ill break up with you!”
4. DO NOT be surprised if she wants you to take several shots of vaccines: Hepa B, Hepa A, Meningitis, Yellow Fever etc. etc.
5. Stay away when her roster comes out. That’s the next worse time to PMS.
6. BE grateful of her smile. You get it for free. IN the skies, it’s worth 6 digits.
7. BE READY to see yourself 5 to 10 years from now. She wants a man who knows his direction.
8. DO give importance to time, preferably Military time. 21:16 is NEVER the same as 21:17
9. DO NOT wake her up when she’s sleeping, even if you wonder “ she must be hungry after sleeping 18 hours already!” Again, LET her wake up by herself.
10. DO NOT mess with how she arranges her suitcase. Boots are for Boots sack, shampoos are for toilettries, undies are for undies bag and so on.
11. DO NOT expect her to remember names of your friends in one sitting.
12. DO NOT accuse her of bragging when she says she went to Paris for Coffee or just hit the gym in Berlin. She’s just plainly, innocently telling you a story.
13. Do not get intimidated by the beautiful men around him, chances are she’s already used to/sick of seeing hotness in form. Those men have lost their beauty.
14. DO NOT call her on the phone when she’s on Standby. DO NOT… ever.
15. Do NOT question why Half of the dresses in her closet has never been worn, and she still complains, she doesn’t have anymore.
16. Do Not remove any clothes you think is too much in his suitcase, remember: she has four sets of outfit in her suitcase: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Fall.
17. She expects you to learn how to read an Aviator watch.
18. And when she gives you that expensive Aviator watch, Do not Ask her: “ what time is it there in Khartoum?”
19. The next best gift to a Limited Louis Vuitton bag is a fancy Dual Time Watch.
20. She carries a First Aid Kit with her and 26 kinds of Supplements: Vit C,E,A,B, anti-Oxidants, Gingko Biloba, Evening Primrose Oil, Horseradish Capsules, etc. etc. even those Pills (damn-those!) you request her to take everyday!
21. At least buy McDonald's before your holiday flight, she prefers it over aircraft food, and yes even over the caviar in first class cabin.
22. Understand that discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
23. Make sure of the inaccuracy of your bathroom scale.
24. Remind her which country she is in first thing when she wakes up in the morning
25. During dinner, when she asks you whether you like chicken or beef… Oboohooy! you better think fast!
26. Begin to be scared when you oversee a long line in Immigration, she has zero tolerance on airport queues.
27. Work your muscle for a trip together, you’ll be carrying at least four baggage's for her. A Gucci make-up bag, a Paul Smith, a World Traveler Trolley, and a Barberry Laptop bag at least for a Domestic Flight.
28. A bouquet of flowers is THE if not, THE ONLY way to say “I missed you” when you pick her up at the airport.
29. Prepare yourself for her jetlag, otherwise known as the PFS or the POST Flight Syndrome. You should be awake when she is and asleep when she is . You don’t want to see a whole 72 hours of tantrums.
30. And lastly, it might seem like she thinks she is overqualified for love. But DO remember that in reality, she feels like she is just an ordinary girl standing in front of a boy, asking him…
For a foot rub… after a damn…long flight. ☺
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
majikannya orang mana mbak?
suatu hari di dalam bis, perjalanan pulang dari gereja di Central, Lebah bertemu dengan seorang mbak2 TKW.
Mbak : Hi, are u Philipines or Indonesia?
Lebah : Indonesia
Mbak : Ooh, turun di mana Mbak?
Lebah : Tun Muen
Mbak : Tinggal disana?
Lebah : Iya..
Mbak : Kalo ke pasar kemana Mbak?
Lebah : *bingung* mmm.. saya nggak pernah ke pasar..
Mbak : Hah?!? nggak pernah ke pasar?? Enak banget ya.. Majikannya orang mana??
Lebah : mmmmm... *tambah bingung*
Mbak : *nyerocos* kalo majikan saya tuh ya mbak, bla bla bla bla *curhat*
Lebah : *diem dan pasrah.. dalem hati mikir : nasib..nasib..udah dandan ke gereja rapi2 dan cakep2, gue masih disangka tkw juga.. hiks..*
Mbak : Hi, are u Philipines or Indonesia?
Lebah : Indonesia
Mbak : Ooh, turun di mana Mbak?
Lebah : Tun Muen
Mbak : Tinggal disana?
Lebah : Iya..
Mbak : Kalo ke pasar kemana Mbak?
Lebah : *bingung* mmm.. saya nggak pernah ke pasar..
Mbak : Hah?!? nggak pernah ke pasar?? Enak banget ya.. Majikannya orang mana??
Lebah : mmmmm... *tambah bingung*
Mbak : *nyerocos* kalo majikan saya tuh ya mbak, bla bla bla bla *curhat*
Lebah : *diem dan pasrah.. dalem hati mikir : nasib..nasib..udah dandan ke gereja rapi2 dan cakep2, gue masih disangka tkw juga.. hiks..*
Sunday, March 21, 2010
would you be my bride??
Passenger : Excuse me, do you have an extra bride?
Melati : *bingung* Pardon me?
Passenger : Extra bride..
Melati : *tersenyum tipis* You mean BREAD?
Passenger : Yes, bride *ekspresi muka polos*
Melati : Because today we have a full flight, I will give you an extra bread if we still have *tersenyum sambil nahan ketawa*
Passenger : Oh, ok.. Thank you
Melati : Your welcome *melanjutkan service, mendorong cartnya dan berlalu sambil berkhayal, seandainya itu Ashton Kutcher yg ngomong........
Aston Kutcher : Excuse me miss, would you be my bride??
Melati : *sigap menjawab* Certainly, I DO!!
hehehehehehehe..
Melati : *bingung* Pardon me?
Passenger : Extra bride..
Melati : *tersenyum tipis* You mean BREAD?
Passenger : Yes, bride *ekspresi muka polos*
Melati : Because today we have a full flight, I will give you an extra bread if we still have *tersenyum sambil nahan ketawa*
Passenger : Oh, ok.. Thank you
Melati : Your welcome *melanjutkan service, mendorong cartnya dan berlalu sambil berkhayal, seandainya itu Ashton Kutcher yg ngomong........
Aston Kutcher : Excuse me miss, would you be my bride??
Melati : *sigap menjawab* Certainly, I DO!!
hehehehehehehe..
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Alhamdulilah....
Suatu hari, Kumbang bertemu teman lama yang sudah lama tak berjumpa....
Item : Eh, kemana aja lo?
Kumbang : Alhamdulilah...
Item : *bingung* kok ditanya kemana aja jawabnya Alhamdulilah?!?!?
Kumbang : *cengengesan* ehehehehe.. iya yah... *salting sambil ngaduk2 tas*
Item : ??????
Item : Eh, kemana aja lo?
Kumbang : Alhamdulilah...
Item : *bingung* kok ditanya kemana aja jawabnya Alhamdulilah?!?!?
Kumbang : *cengengesan* ehehehehe.. iya yah... *salting sambil ngaduk2 tas*
Item : ??????
FYI, postcard dan polaroid itu beda
Kumbang sedang mengedit foto trus nanya pendapat Melati
Kumbang : Ini foto di apain ya bagusnya?
Melati : Dibikin kayak gaya POSTCARD aja
Kumbang : POSTCARD? Maksud lo ada backgroundnya gitu?
Melati : Bukaaan, kayak POSTCARD, itu lho yang ada pinggirannya
Kumbang : Hah gimana maksudnya? Ga ngerti gue?
Melati : Nih gue ambilin ya contohnya, kayak gini nihhh
Kumbang : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Itu mah POLAROID!!
Kumbang : Ini foto di apain ya bagusnya?
Melati : Dibikin kayak gaya POSTCARD aja
Kumbang : POSTCARD? Maksud lo ada backgroundnya gitu?
Melati : Bukaaan, kayak POSTCARD, itu lho yang ada pinggirannya
Kumbang : Hah gimana maksudnya? Ga ngerti gue?
Melati : Nih gue ambilin ya contohnya, kayak gini nihhh
Kumbang : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Itu mah POLAROID!!
Peterselli, rasa yogurt baru
Suatu hari, Melati, Kumbang & Mawar jalan-jalan ke Ikea, di perjalanan mereka ngobrol-ngobrol tentang restoran-restoran di Jakarta.
Kumbang: Eh katanya ada restoran yoghurt enak di Senayan City
Melati & Mawar : Oh ya?? apa namanya?
Kumbang : Namanya Peterselli
Melati : Hah?? Peterselli bukannya nama sayur?
Kumbang : Iya itu lho, Peterselli, masa ga tau sih, yg sebelahnya J.co
*Melati & Mawar mikir lama, apaan ya nama tempat makan di sebelah J.co di Senayan City yang namanya mirip nama sayur*
Melati : Ooooohhh, maksud lo Sour & Sally kali??
Kumbang : Nah nah iyaaa itu diaa!!
Melati & Mawar : HAHAHAHAHAHA *ngakak guling2*
PS: waktu pulang ke Jakarta beberapa waktu lalu, kami sempet mencoba si "Peterselli" yg terkenal itu :P
and yes, we enjoyed it so much :D
Kumbang: Eh katanya ada restoran yoghurt enak di Senayan City
Melati & Mawar : Oh ya?? apa namanya?
Kumbang : Namanya Peterselli
Melati : Hah?? Peterselli bukannya nama sayur?
Kumbang : Iya itu lho, Peterselli, masa ga tau sih, yg sebelahnya J.co
*Melati & Mawar mikir lama, apaan ya nama tempat makan di sebelah J.co di Senayan City yang namanya mirip nama sayur*
Melati : Ooooohhh, maksud lo Sour & Sally kali??
Kumbang : Nah nah iyaaa itu diaa!!
Melati & Mawar : HAHAHAHAHAHA *ngakak guling2*
PS: waktu pulang ke Jakarta beberapa waktu lalu, kami sempet mencoba si "Peterselli" yg terkenal itu :P
and yes, we enjoyed it so much :D
its not Iten, its not Eaton, its INTAN!!
Crew HK : Yesterday I flew with Indonesian girl
Melati : Really? Whats her name?
Crew HK : Her name is EATON
Melati : "What? Say it again?
Crew HK : ITEN
Melati : *mikir kira2 siapa nama crew Indo cewek yang namanya kayak toko kue*
Crew HK : She said her name means diamond in Indonesia
Melati : Oooohhhh.. You mean INTAN?!?
Crew HK : Yeahh.. yaaa.. That one!! ITEN!! *tetep salah* How to say her name?
Melati : Its IN-TAN
Crew HK : ITAN
Melati : IN-TAN
Crew HK : ING-TEN
Melati : *frustasi ngajarinnya*
Melati : Really? Whats her name?
Crew HK : Her name is EATON
Melati : "What? Say it again?
Crew HK : ITEN
Melati : *mikir kira2 siapa nama crew Indo cewek yang namanya kayak toko kue*
Crew HK : She said her name means diamond in Indonesia
Melati : Oooohhhh.. You mean INTAN?!?
Crew HK : Yeahh.. yaaa.. That one!! ITEN!! *tetep salah* How to say her name?
Melati : Its IN-TAN
Crew HK : ITAN
Melati : IN-TAN
Crew HK : ING-TEN
Melati : *frustasi ngajarinnya*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
